Yizkor Sermon 2015 Yom Kippur
Yizkor is a
beloved service intent on providing an opportunity to memorialize those who
went before us and to pray that we will be able to live up to the legacy they
have left us.
How do we
memorialize our loved ones? Many of us
did this last night before we came here together – we lit a yartziet candle. A simple act! Something we probably never
even thought about. Every once in a
while, I will get a question – why do we light this candle?
This service
I would like us to reflect on the yartziet candle. It is a power symbol.
It is a
flame. Fire allowed civilization to
begin. The ability to cook food, see at
night, provide heat, melt metals and purify ourselves, are all because of
fire. Yet fire is also destructive,
simply look at the wild fires raging across California and the Pacific
Northwest or think of a home which has caught fire and destroyed a family.
In the Torah
we see fire from the very beginning. God
created fire – at the very beginning before there was even a sun – there was
primordial light. When Abraham speaks
with God and binds himself to God, he sacrifices an animal and passes a fiery
torch between the two pieces. That torch
is a representation of God. When Moses
encounters God, he does so at a burning bush which has a special fire, one which does not consume. When the Israelites traveled through the
desert, there was a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. When God gave Moses the Ten Commandments on
Mt. Sinai, God descended in smoke and Fire.
Lastly there was a ner tamid,
an eternal fire burning at the Temple.
Just look here; we have one representing that eternal fire in our
sanctuary.
Fire is
always present for significant moments in our history. Yet when we observe Shabbat, there are 39
categories of work prohibited by the rabbis; these explicitly include the use
of fire. Yet we celebrate Shabbat first
by lighting Shabbat candles and we end Shabbat by lighting a havdallah
candle. It is a special time sandwiched
between two candles -- time when we pause and reflect on our life.
Again let’s
think about fire which is needed for cooking, heating and even building. At significant moments in the Jewish people’s
historic relationship with God, fire is present. When God and Abraham build a covenant, fire
is present. When the people receive the
Torah – the blueprint for a Jewish life – fire is present. When the Jewish people prayed to God in the
Tent of Meetings and later in the Temple – fire is present. Fire is present when the creative process is
occurring. Building a people, building a
nation or building a homeland all involved fire. Yet on Shabbat, it is a day of rest. A day not to create, but a day to contemplate;
Shabbat is a day to turn inward and allow the fire inside of us the fire of our
soul, to shine forth and breath.
Judaism has a very important lesson
about life – that which has tremendous power for the good, also has tremendous
power for destruction and bad. It, like
everything else in life is not all good, nor is it all bad, it depends how it
is used. The thing which offers us so
much joy, also can offer us so much sorrow.
It is like our very relationships. At times our relationships with those around
us can bring us great joy, and be a powerful force in our life helping us
become a better person. While other
times, those same relationships can be so destructive and cause so much pain. No
one has an all good or an all bad relationship with someone. Instead there are times when it is full of
sparks for the good and bad.
I was given an extraordinary gift – to
be raised by imperfect parents. They
tried their best to help shape and form me into the best that I can be. There are times when I love them for all of
the gifts they have given me and times when I resent them for other things they
have given me. Yet I know on a primal
level they loved me more deeply than most anyone else ever will.
I was given another gift – the love of a
partner who is no more or less flawed than I am myself. He accepts and loves me most of the time,
understands me and sees me for who I am.
I have been given the gift of children for
whom I try hard to be a “good enough” mother to - to love them, to give to
them, and to be present for them even when I am passed the point of exhaustion.
I have been blessed with an amazing
congregation and community who tries its best to do the right for each other
and to be “good enough” to one another.
Though there are times, when things are done and words are said which we
regret, we love one another.
The flame of the yartzeit candle reminds
us every year when we light it to be able to forgive. It reminds us that inside of us is a soul
whose “spirit within is the lamp of God Eternal.”[1] Perhaps that is why we light the yizkor
candle. The fire is contained, but it
has a bright and powerful glow to it.
The candle represents the neshamah
the soul of a person, whose life force, whose fire, whose energy was
extinguished. During the Yizkor service,
we take a moment to remember our loved ones.
As the light of those who have gone before us, surround us on the walls
behind us, they provide warmth and comfort to us. They are a guide to us, showing us the way
forward and reminding us of where we have been. It reminds us that our loved ones were not
perfect and neither are we.
Rabbi Abraham Sofer,
the son of the famous Chatam Sofer, taught that the yizkor candle must be
used. It was not to be simply lit, and
then placed off to the side. It was
intended to bring into our lives another spark, if only for a short moment. The flame, which represents our parents,
grandparents and yes at times even our children, provides a light into our own
lives. Rabbi Sofer therefore teaches us,
by not having that light separate from us, but including it with our Shabbat
candles, on the table where we eat, or in a prominent place in our home where
we can see it, the flame brings a spark from our loved ones into our lives
today and adds to the joy in our hearts as opposed to a sad moment
commemorating what was lost.
That is the light which
helps us contribute to the world around us through deeds of tikkun olam, repairing the world, by bringing
love and compassion to those around us.
The light of the
yartzeit candle is a gentle light, not glaring, but able to tenderly show us
the things which we might find hard to look at under the power of a glare. It
can help us look deep within ourselves to the parts of us we are not so happy
with. It can help us find the ability to
embrace that part of us and start to work on the practice of forgiveness. To forgive ourselves for not being perfect,
for failing to meet up to expectations and fantasies impossible to
fulfill. To love ourselves – all of our
parts – even the nose we got from our great aunt Fegelah.
It is only when we finally start to love
ourselves that we can start to love others.
That is the meaning of the verse “to love your neighbor as yourself.” We
need that light to open ourselves up to cherishing the aspects of the good in
ourselves and others.
So I am grateful for this candle, it
helps remind me of the imperfection which is around us, it helps remind me of
the deep connection I and our community have with God, it helps remind me of
those who came before us.
“Blessed is the One who is far beyond
all the blessings and hymns, all the praises and words of comfort that we speak
in the world. And blessed are those who
are now far beyond my words, my praise, my voice – even my silence.”[2]
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