I was standing in front of my closet for the ever challenging task of picking out the best outfit for the day. As I stood there, I realized that there were garments, which in spite of the move have not seen day light since I was married. This made me start to think about all the items in my life that I have not thought about for an equally long period of time. I contemplated all the changes of circumstances in my life – from being a student, an intern and newly married to being a rabbi. I contemplated how my relationships with my friends and family have evolved along with my change in circumstances. Lastly I started to contemplate how I have evolved and in that process and I began to wonder. I wondered if I have done or said anything to anyone from my closest friends and family to those I have not spoke to in the past several months which I could have done better. Was I carrying extra clothes on my back because I did not bring to light inside of myself how I behaved toward them? Did I need to pick up the phone, send an email or text and bring them forward from the closet in my life? It is that time of year when the answer is yes. I need to spend sometime contemplating the last conversation I had with them, request forgiveness if I did anything in the past year that offended them and forgive myself. As we read in Perkei Avoth, “The day is short, the work is great, the workers are lazy, the payment is much, and the Boss is pressing." It is a daunting task, to check in with everyone, apologize and work on cleaning out the closet that is our life. But perhaps we can walk lighter, carry less weight on our backs as we head into the New Year with a fresh start and an uplifting outlook.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Elul
Shalom,
We are entering the month of Elul when we prepare ourselves for the High Holidays. One of the first ways that we prepare ourselves is that we begin the process of requesting slichot or forgiveness from those around us. Our legal codes teach us that forgiveness stems from repentance. Repentance indicates acknowledging how we contributed to the situation whether it was a fight, a disruption or painful interaction on a personal and community level. We need to understand and ask the question “Did I contribute to the problem? Was I unfair in anything that I said or did? Did I speak unfairly about or to another person such as spreading rumors or critique someone in a tactless or demoralizing manor?” Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev would nightly journal to review his action and analyze his role to determine the answers to the above questions
To have this level of self awareness is extremely hard. Yet it is necessary in order to fully repent and also forgive. Perhaps we believe that it is possible to wait in order to repent. Yet Rabbi Eliezer said, ‘Repent one day before your death.’” Which several thought meant we had to repent only once in our lives. But Rabbi Eliezer’s students quickly realized a fact and asked a question“…[does a person] know on what day he [or she] is going to die?” Therefore, his students continued to say “All the more reason, to repent today, lest one die tomorrow. In this manner, one’s whole life will be spent in repentance.”[1]
The rabbis set the bar high for us. The goal is to be self aware, willing to take ownership and lastly willing to repent. Yet repenting is not a one-sided event, ideally there would be a willingness of forgiveness from the other party. Though sometimes, human nature being what it is, we do need our space, and often some time to analyze ourselves and our contribution to the situation. Also perhaps we recognize that we do not want our tempers to boil over and further hurt others around us. Instead, we learn from Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar, who used to say: Do not try to appease your fellow at the height of his anger, nor speak to him words of consolation while his dead lies before him…”[2] Meaning sometimes that in order to forgive patience from both parties is necessary until they are ready to work toward forgiveness and reconciliation. Silence is golden so that we can create a peaceful environment.
As Rambam teaches us though, the ultimate goal is forgiveness and repentance. "It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow yourself to be appeased. On the contrary, one should be easily pacified and find it difficult to become angry. When asked by an offender for forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit. . . forgiveness is natural to the seed of Israel."[3] So even if you may not be able to forgive and repent today, please try and do so tomorrow since as Rabbi Eliezer teaches we may not know when our last chance to forgive and repent arrives.
During this season, when we prepare ourselves for the high holidays, may we be able to put aside our hurt feelings, let go of our grudges and recognize how we contributed to the situation in order to forgive each other. May we have the strength and courage to forgive even the oldest of wrongs to ultimately work toward a stronger sense of community.
[1] Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 153a
[2] Ethics of the Fathers 4:23
[3] Mishneh Torah Teshuvah 2:10
We are entering the month of Elul when we prepare ourselves for the High Holidays. One of the first ways that we prepare ourselves is that we begin the process of requesting slichot or forgiveness from those around us. Our legal codes teach us that forgiveness stems from repentance. Repentance indicates acknowledging how we contributed to the situation whether it was a fight, a disruption or painful interaction on a personal and community level. We need to understand and ask the question “Did I contribute to the problem? Was I unfair in anything that I said or did? Did I speak unfairly about or to another person such as spreading rumors or critique someone in a tactless or demoralizing manor?” Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev would nightly journal to review his action and analyze his role to determine the answers to the above questions
To have this level of self awareness is extremely hard. Yet it is necessary in order to fully repent and also forgive. Perhaps we believe that it is possible to wait in order to repent. Yet Rabbi Eliezer said, ‘Repent one day before your death.’” Which several thought meant we had to repent only once in our lives. But Rabbi Eliezer’s students quickly realized a fact and asked a question“…[does a person] know on what day he [or she] is going to die?” Therefore, his students continued to say “All the more reason, to repent today, lest one die tomorrow. In this manner, one’s whole life will be spent in repentance.”[1]
The rabbis set the bar high for us. The goal is to be self aware, willing to take ownership and lastly willing to repent. Yet repenting is not a one-sided event, ideally there would be a willingness of forgiveness from the other party. Though sometimes, human nature being what it is, we do need our space, and often some time to analyze ourselves and our contribution to the situation. Also perhaps we recognize that we do not want our tempers to boil over and further hurt others around us. Instead, we learn from Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar, who used to say: Do not try to appease your fellow at the height of his anger, nor speak to him words of consolation while his dead lies before him…”[2] Meaning sometimes that in order to forgive patience from both parties is necessary until they are ready to work toward forgiveness and reconciliation. Silence is golden so that we can create a peaceful environment.
As Rambam teaches us though, the ultimate goal is forgiveness and repentance. "It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow yourself to be appeased. On the contrary, one should be easily pacified and find it difficult to become angry. When asked by an offender for forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit. . . forgiveness is natural to the seed of Israel."[3] So even if you may not be able to forgive and repent today, please try and do so tomorrow since as Rabbi Eliezer teaches we may not know when our last chance to forgive and repent arrives.
During this season, when we prepare ourselves for the high holidays, may we be able to put aside our hurt feelings, let go of our grudges and recognize how we contributed to the situation in order to forgive each other. May we have the strength and courage to forgive even the oldest of wrongs to ultimately work toward a stronger sense of community.
[1] Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 153a
[2] Ethics of the Fathers 4:23
[3] Mishneh Torah Teshuvah 2:10
Monday, August 17, 2009
Community Togetherness
The value of shalom bayit – or family harmony is an important value in the Jewish community. Professor Reuven Kimelman teaches that this value is achieved when we adhere to the commandment “Love your neighbor as yourself.” It is not enough to say “I love you” or “I respect you,” to one another. Only when the other partner (or community member) feels that way, have we truly fulfilled the mitzvah. May we live and act in such a way that we can all feel the bonds of community through love and respect. It is through working together that we can achieve great things.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Health Care from a Jewish Perspective
While congress is on its break, the health care debate is being taken out of
While I do not advocate a specific plan, I do advocate further research on this topic especially with a Jewish lens. I want to briefly outline and define several concepts which help us frame our response to specific questions regarding healthcare.
First and foremost we are all created in the Divine Image – Betzelem Elohim. This concept helps remind us to always be respectful to all persons no matter their origination or economic situation.
The idea of Hatzalat Nefashot – the saving of a human life is a positive commandment. It is such a powerful concept that the Talmud states Pikuah nefesh
The concept of Shemirat Ha-bruit or preventative care helps us understand how to best take care of our bodies. Maimonides understood the verse in the Torah "take utmost care and watch yourselves scrupulously" (Deuteronomy) that we must scrupulously guard our health by living a balanced life and seeking medical care when warranted.
Tzedaka -- Communal Obligations to Meeting Basic Human Needs is insisted upon by the rabbis. Communal subsidies for the poor to assist to pay for medical coverage, clothing and food have long been present in the Jewish Law.
Bikur Holim – visiting the sick is a value that is incumbent upon us all. It is not that the person is physically sick only, rather being sick can cause feelings of isolation and a true need for support to complete doctors orders to return to health.
In the coming weeks as the health care debate in this country increases, I encourage you to refer to the following websites and books which might be able to provide more information – including rabbinic responsa, Jewish Law, break downs of the legislation and opportunities for you to access more resources
http://rac.org/advocacy/issues/issuehc/
An article published in Reform Magazine on healthcare
http://reformjudaismmag.org/Articles/index.cfm?id=1421
A book that examines modern day issues in healthcare and historic Jewish sources
Matters of Life and Death: A Jewish Approach to Modern Medical Ethics by Elliot N. Dorff
Written from a scientific prospective, this book briefly summarizes Jewish law in response.
Encyclopedia of Jewish Medical Ethics by Avraham Steinb
May this conversation further elevate the debate.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tisha B'Av
This evening at the Temple, we will be observing Tisha B'Av (the 9th of Av). This is a holiday of mourning - commemorating the destruction of the first and second Temple, the expulsion from Spain in 1492 and the begining of World War I. It is believed to have begun as a day of mourning following the sin of the golden calf. Tonight we will have a brief service at the Temple at 7:30pm. Then we will sit on the floor and read out loud the book of Lamentations by the light of a flash light. This service is meant for us to experience mourning.
Though Tisha B'Av has not traditionally been observed by the Reform movement, it is important for us to understand the holiday. The destruction of the Temple marked a shift in the religion, from one which worshiped in the Temple through sacrafices, to one which worshiped in the synagogue (literally translated as the house of assembly) throgu prayer. It is essential to recognize that this act of destruction has left a lasting imprint in our lives which we still feel today. It forced us to reexamine who we were and develop a new identity and a new religion - rabbinic judaism.
This event happened to us on a level of people hood. But so often we have events which also cause us to re-examine who we are and then change our actions accordingly. Perhaps, if we can not identify with this holiday on a personal level, we can identify with it on an emotional level. We can recall an event in our lives - the loss of a loved-one, the loss of a house or a job - an how it caused us to re-examine who we are and how we go about living. Then we can take a moment tonight together or tomorrow on your own to simply look back and see how far we have come on a personal level and on a nation level.
May this be a significant Tisha B'Av, where we can be thankful for how far we have come.
kol tuv,
Rabbi B
Though Tisha B'Av has not traditionally been observed by the Reform movement, it is important for us to understand the holiday. The destruction of the Temple marked a shift in the religion, from one which worshiped in the Temple through sacrafices, to one which worshiped in the synagogue (literally translated as the house of assembly) throgu prayer. It is essential to recognize that this act of destruction has left a lasting imprint in our lives which we still feel today. It forced us to reexamine who we were and develop a new identity and a new religion - rabbinic judaism.
This event happened to us on a level of people hood. But so often we have events which also cause us to re-examine who we are and then change our actions accordingly. Perhaps, if we can not identify with this holiday on a personal level, we can identify with it on an emotional level. We can recall an event in our lives - the loss of a loved-one, the loss of a house or a job - an how it caused us to re-examine who we are and how we go about living. Then we can take a moment tonight together or tomorrow on your own to simply look back and see how far we have come on a personal level and on a nation level.
May this be a significant Tisha B'Av, where we can be thankful for how far we have come.
kol tuv,
Rabbi B
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Shalom
Shalom,
I am so excited to have this opportunity to share thoughts, articles and exciting information with you at Temple B'nai Sholom. I look forward to reading your comments and view this blog as a forum for discussion.
kol tuv,
Rabbi B
I am so excited to have this opportunity to share thoughts, articles and exciting information with you at Temple B'nai Sholom. I look forward to reading your comments and view this blog as a forum for discussion.
kol tuv,
Rabbi B
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)