Yom Kippur Morning – Israel and the US today 2015

Yom Kippur Morning – Israel and the US today 2015

An overarching theme in the Bible is a directive: “Be not afraid and be of good courage”

This past summer, while on maternity leave, I went to visit the Space and Rocket Center.  Under the Saturn V rocket they have a wonderful exhibit on the history of the space program in Huntsville.  They also have a bridge that was built to connect between the tower and the rocket.  The bridge they have there is #8.  When I saw that, I understood it to mean that there were seven bridges built before it.  Before they even got to building bridge #8, there were sketches and drawings, discussions and debates about wire locations, light locations, types of metal to be used and so forth.  It took NASA many, many, many tries before making up one small part of the mission which would send humans into space. 

I also saw a piece of paper where all the engineers who worked on the construction of the Saturn V signed their name.  What an extraordinary list of people.  It was not just Werner Van Braun; there were many people who each contributed something special.  Perhaps some of you in this room helped in some significant way. 

What I saw in the bridge and in the piece of art was that it takes a committed group of people, working toward a vision of something greater than themselves to be able to build a bridge together, walk across it and achieve something incredible.

Building a bridge is something extraordinary; it takes courage to want to move from one side to another side.  It is scary to go across it. Rebbe Nahman taught, kol haolam kulo gesher tzar meod, “the whole world is like a very narrow bridge,” v’haikar lo l’fahed, “and the main thing is not to fear.” 

Yet we are afraid.  We as a Jewish community are fearful of many things.  We are fearful that we are becoming assimilated.  We are fearful that our youth are losing engagement with Israel.  We are fearful that Iran will develop nuclear weapons and use them against Israel. 

I am not an expert on weapons, many of you in this room work directly in this field every day, and therefore perhaps you are the ones who should be expressing a view about the Iran Deal.  Some of us have lobbied on behalf of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) by expressing concern that the Iran deal might “facilitate rather than prevent Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon and would further entrench and empower the leading state sponsor of terror.”[1]  Rabbi Rick Block, a past president of the Central Conference of American Rabbis, explains:

“Under prior legislation, most sanctions on Iran were to sunset only when the president certified to Congress that Iran no longer provides support for acts of international terrorism and has ‘ceased the pursuit, acquisition, and development of, and verifiably dismantled, its nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons and ballistic missiles and ballistic missile launch technology.’ The deal accomplishes none of these goals. Rather, Iran receives as much as $150 billion in frozen assets, will reap immense profits from post-sanctions commerce, and can spend as much as it will to promote terrorism. Much of its nuclear infrastructure remains intact and it can continue R&D in weaponization….Administration officials initially promised a deal would include "anytime, anywhere" inspections. This one does no such thing. Instead, a cumbersome, convoluted process to address Iranian violations provides ample time to conceal most kinds of evidence.”[2]

While there are others of us who believe that while this deal is far from perfect it is the best viable option.  J-Street, one such Jewish organization issued this statement:

 “[This] agreement…is the best chance for keeping Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon…. It creates the most rigorous, intrusive inspection regime in history. It opens Iran’s program to the light of day, keeping illicit military uses off the table. It protects the international sanctions regime, allowing them to snap back into place if Iran cheats. It puts a long-term, lasting end to Iran’s nuclear ambitions. And it cripples Iran’s nuclear infrastructure, blocking every pathway to a bomb.”[3] 

“The agreement prevents Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon for 10-15 years,” said Eran Etzion, Former Deputy Head of the Israel National Security Council, “this agreement is not about trust, it’s about verification.” Former Mossad Director Efraim Halevy added, “Without an agreement, Iran will be free to act as it wishes, whereas the sanctions regime against it will crumble in any case…if the nuclear issue is of cardinal existential importance, what is the point of canceling an agreement that distances it from the bomb?”[4] 

Only history will know the answer of which side of the argument was right but I am concerned about several things that have happened as a result and some things which have happened during this debate to the American Jewish Community. 

There has been a slow forming alignment of the Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, with the Republican Party.  Perhaps it started innocently with a personality disagreement between President Obama and Prime Minister Netanyahu, but it has devolved into insults as each has attempted to throw the other under the bus in political situations. The problem is that Israel should not be aligned with either political party.  What AIPAC has done successfully for so many years is ensure that it worked across party lines for the betterment of the relationship between the US and Israel.  If Israel is seen as a partisan issue than we, the Jewish community loose. 

Even more troubling though has been how we have treated each other.  Rabbinic colleagues of mine who came out for or against the deal were accused of supporting or not supporting the Jewish community.  I received a phone call from a congregant, wanting to know my position on the deal and why I had not signed any petition.  They had gone online and checked.  I also received a troubling email from a congregant after I shared my feelings on the deal.  Instead of recognizing that we could both be right and both be wrong at the same time, they proceeded to send me emails trying to get me to change my position.  We must put aside partisan politics and adopt the attitude of partnership.

My position is irrelevant.  I am the spiritual leader of this community.  I am here to help you become better people, to walk with you in troubling times, celebrate with you at joyous occasions and provide Torah based advice.  I am not an expert on foreign affairs or affairs in the Middle East – though I am an avid reader on both topics and as many of you know, I love politics as a source of entertainment.

While I do expect people to project their insecurities on me or on rabbis in general, we as a rule, try to be forgiving, non-judgmental and understanding people, what really surprised me was the level of people’s emotions.  One of my friends was accused on social media of being a Nazi, a fascist and an Arab-lover because he had spoken for the deal.  Colleagues of mine in Florida described people truly forming sides around the issue and not being supportive toward one another.  While other colleagues of mine, who were supportive of the deal, were accused of being “Netanyahu’s marionettes,” “warmongers,” or “traitors.”

When New York Senator Charles Schumer came out this summer opposed to the deal he was accused on CNN of taking that stance because he benefitted from it financially.  His major supporters were opposed to the deal and so he should agree with them after all he is Jewish.  He was not believed to have come to that conclusion after a careful and deliberate consideration on his own.  I believe that it took courage for him to take that stance. 

We have cut each other down on social media, in public forums and lambasted each other in conversations.  We are not listening to all members of our community, some of whom believe and trust the President for seeing things we do not.  While others feel strongly that the President is wrong and that he has declared war on the State of Israel. 

OK, now what?!?!  The debate about the deal is over.  The deal, for good or bad is what is going to happen.

We need to become friends again with each other and reach across a bridge. 

During Talmudic times, the House of Hillel and the House of Shammai often competed with each other as to who was correct in understanding various points of Jewish law.  Each group would say they were correct.  Yet God spoke and answered the debate by saying:  “Eilu v’eilu divrei Elokim chayim -- These words AND those words are the BOTH the words of the living God.”[5] Even though both sides are competing, according to GOD they are both right.  Both offer wisdom and insight -- and we can learn from both.

One of my colleagues shared this poem on the CCAR Facebook page:

“The Place Where We Are Right” by Israeli poet Yehuda Amichai

From the place where we are right

flowers will never grow

in the spring.

The place where we are right

is hard and trampled

like a yard.

But doubts and loves

dig up the world

like a mole, a plough.

And a whisper will be heard in the place

where the ruined

house once stood.

If we both believe we are right, than nothing lives there because we will destroy each other to prove a point.  We need to come together!  We need to once again build a bridge and see our neighbor sitting next to us in this community, reach out our hand and love that person. 

Since that the deal has gone through, I recently read an article in the Atlantic Magazine which offered a global perspective to the Iran Deal.

It pointed out that Lufthansa Magazine for touring suggested: “Teheran in a Day” in its most recent issue.  It featured a café for young lovers, fortune telling birds, contemporary art, film and cuisine and the parkour girls of Abo Atash Park. By the way, these girls have been featured in The Guardian, on YouTube and in New York Magazine.  It argued that European, Chinese and Russian companies are happy to export business, purchase oil and engage in educational exchanges.  Whether we like it or not, the world is ready to embrace Iran again.[6] 

While it seems clear that Israel will be the country to pay the price for a more belligerent Iran, this is perhaps an area where the interests of the United States and the interests of Israel diverge.  President Obama seems focused since he came to power to realize the limitations of what the US can still do on the world’s stage after having struggled already in two protracted conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan.   He wants to build coalitions and believes that use of the military is not the best option.  Perhaps he is right.  Perhaps he is wrong. 

We need to lobby congress to continue its support of Israel regardless of party affiliations.  In the face of a growing refuge crisis in the Middle East, where Russia may become the deal broker of a peace in Syria, Israel may become even more marginalized.  It is our obligation to make sure that does not happen.  We must encourage our leaders to view Israel not as a partisan issue, but an issue which affects all of us.  While Israel has come a long way from its fledgling days when the country started, it still needs an advocate and an ally now more than ever.

To accomplish this task we must continue the fight against the boycott, divestment and sanction movement which is strongest on many college campuses across this country.  We must work with our confirmation class students to give them the tools to be able to speak in an educated voice on this topic for Israel.  In Europe, where Israel is largely falsely accused of being an apartied state and abusing the Palestinians, we need to work against that image.  The United Nations has just agreed to hang a Palestinian flag among the flags of other global nations against the protest of the United States and Israel.[7]  Reykjavik Iceland voted to boycott all Israeli products until Israel is out of the “occupied territories” and then retracted that vote two days later.  The world community is not silent about the issue with the Palestinians and Israel is losing the PR battle.  Israel is seen as the aggressor in a conflict which is much broader than the Israelis or the Palestinians, but encompasses much of the Middle East. 

There is still much work to do. 

We will not be right all the time.  Some of the battles that we will choose to fight will not have the result we desire.  There will be times when we need to simply go back to the drawing board and sketch another bridge as we go across deep and treacherous chiasm. 

But as NASA had to go through many designs, so too do we need to make mistakes before building something correct. There is no getting this perfect; there is no getting it exactly right.  From each person we can learn something and become wiser. 

Ben Zoma says:
  Who is wise?
  The one who learns from every person…
  Who is brave?
  The one who subdues his negative inclination…
  Who is rich?
  The one who is appreciates what he has…
  Who is honored?
  The one who gives honor to others…
  (Talmud - Avot 4:1)

May we be able to learn from each other together to grow as a community and support Israel.  After, if we won’t speak for Israel, then who will. 

Or in the words of Hillel the Elder

If I am not for myself, who is? And when I am for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?”-Hillel (Perikei Avot 1:4) 

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[1] http://www.aipac.org/learn/resources/aipac-publications/publication?pubpath=PolicyPolitics/Press/AIPAC%20Statements/2015/07/AIPAC%20Statement%20on%20Proposed%20Iran%20Nuclear%20Agreement

[2] http://thehill.com/blogs/congress-blog/foreign-policy/250950-deal-or-no-deal

[3] http://act.jstreet.org/sign/tell-congress-support-deal/?akid=

[4]http://www.jewishjournal.com/rabbijohnrosovesblog/item/many_israeli_experts_believe_the_iran_deal_is_a_supportable_deal_despite_it

[5] Eruvin 13b

[6] http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/08/the-normalization-of-iran-another-view-from-israel/402562/

[7] http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/11/world/middleeast/general-assemblyvote-lets-palestinians-fly-flag-at-un-headquarters.html?ref=topics&_r=0

Yizkor Sermon 2015 Yom Kippur

Yizkor Sermon 2015 Yom Kippur

Yizkor is a beloved service intent on providing an opportunity to memorialize those who went before us and to pray that we will be able to live up to the legacy they have left us. 

How do we memorialize our loved ones?  Many of us did this last night before we came here together  – we lit a yartziet candle.  A simple act! Something we probably never even thought about.  Every once in a while, I will get a question – why do we light this candle? 

This service I would like us to reflect on the yartziet candle.  It is a power symbol. 

It is a flame.  Fire allowed civilization to begin.  The ability to cook food, see at night, provide heat, melt metals and purify ourselves, are all because of fire.  Yet fire is also destructive, simply look at the wild fires raging across California and the Pacific Northwest or think of a home which has caught fire and destroyed a family. 

In the Torah we see fire from the very beginning.  God created fire – at the very beginning before there was even a sun – there was primordial light.  When Abraham speaks with God and binds himself to God, he sacrifices an animal and passes a fiery torch between the two pieces.  That torch is a representation of God.  When Moses encounters God, he does so at a burning bush which has a special fire, one which does not consume.  When the Israelites traveled through the desert, there was a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night.  When God gave Moses the Ten Commandments on Mt. Sinai, God descended in smoke and Fire.  Lastly there was a ner tamid, an eternal fire burning at the Temple.  Just look here; we have one representing that eternal fire in our sanctuary. 

Fire is always present for significant moments in our history.   Yet when we observe Shabbat, there are 39 categories of work prohibited by the rabbis; these explicitly include the use of fire.  Yet we celebrate Shabbat first by lighting Shabbat candles and we end Shabbat by lighting a havdallah candle.  It is a special time sandwiched between two candles -- time when we pause and reflect on our life. 

Again let’s think about fire which is needed for cooking, heating and even building.  At significant moments in the Jewish people’s historic relationship with God, fire is present.  When God and Abraham build a covenant, fire is present.  When the people receive the Torah – the blueprint for a Jewish life – fire is present.  When the Jewish people prayed to God in the Tent of Meetings and later in the Temple – fire is present.  Fire is present when the creative process is occurring.  Building a people, building a nation or building a homeland all involved fire.  Yet on Shabbat, it is a day of rest.  A day not to create, but a day to contemplate; Shabbat is a day to turn inward and allow the fire inside of us the fire of our soul, to shine forth and breath. 

Judaism has a very important lesson about life – that which has tremendous power for the good, also has tremendous power for destruction and bad.  It, like everything else in life is not all good, nor is it all bad, it depends how it is used.   The thing which offers us so much joy, also can offer us so much sorrow. 

It is like our very relationships.  At times our relationships with those around us can bring us great joy, and be a powerful force in our life helping us become a better person.  While other times, those same relationships can be so destructive and cause so much pain. No one has an all good or an all bad relationship with someone.  Instead there are times when it is full of sparks for the good and bad. 

I was given an extraordinary gift – to be raised by imperfect parents.  They tried their best to help shape and form me into the best that I can be.  There are times when I love them for all of the gifts they have given me and times when I resent them for other things they have given me.  Yet I know on a primal level they loved me more deeply than most anyone else ever will. 

I was given another gift – the love of a partner who is no more or less flawed than I am myself.  He accepts and loves me most of the time, understands me and sees me for who I am. 

I have been given the gift of children for whom I try hard to be a “good enough” mother to - to love them, to give to them, and to be present for them even when I am passed the point of exhaustion. 

I have been blessed with an amazing congregation and community who tries its best to do the right for each other and to be “good enough” to one another.  Though there are times, when things are done and words are said which we regret, we love one another. 

The flame of the yartzeit candle reminds us every year when we light it to be able to forgive.  It reminds us that inside of us is a soul whose “spirit within is the lamp of God Eternal.”[1]  Perhaps that is why we light the yizkor candle.  The fire is contained, but it has a bright and powerful glow to it.  The candle represents the neshamah the soul of a person, whose life force, whose fire, whose energy was extinguished.  During the Yizkor service, we take a moment to remember our loved ones.  As the light of those who have gone before us, surround us on the walls behind us, they provide warmth and comfort to us.  They are a guide to us, showing us the way forward and reminding us of where we have been.  It reminds us that our loved ones were not perfect and neither are we.   

Rabbi Abraham Sofer, the son of the famous Chatam Sofer, taught that the yizkor candle must be used.  It was not to be simply lit, and then placed off to the side.  It was intended to bring into our lives another spark, if only for a short moment.  The flame, which represents our parents, grandparents and yes at times even our children, provides a light into our own lives.  Rabbi Sofer therefore teaches us, by not having that light separate from us, but including it with our Shabbat candles, on the table where we eat, or in a prominent place in our home where we can see it, the flame brings a spark from our loved ones into our lives today and adds to the joy in our hearts as opposed to a sad moment commemorating what was lost. 

That is the light which helps us contribute to the world around us through deeds of tikkun olam, repairing the world, by bringing love and compassion to those around us. 

The light of the yartzeit candle is a gentle light, not glaring, but able to tenderly show us the things which we might find hard to look at under the power of a glare. It can help us look deep within ourselves to the parts of us we are not so happy with.  It can help us find the ability to embrace that part of us and start to work on the practice of forgiveness.  To forgive ourselves for not being perfect, for failing to meet up to expectations and fantasies impossible to fulfill.  To love ourselves – all of our parts – even the nose we got from our great aunt Fegelah. 

It is only when we finally start to love ourselves that we can start to love others.  That is the meaning of the verse “to love your neighbor as yourself.” We need that light to open ourselves up to cherishing the aspects of the good in ourselves and others. 

So I am grateful for this candle, it helps remind me of the imperfection which is around us, it helps remind me of the deep connection I and our community have with God, it helps remind me of those who came before us.

“Blessed is the One who is far beyond all the blessings and hymns, all the praises and words of comfort that we speak in the world.  And blessed are those who are now far beyond my words, my praise, my voice – even my silence.”[2]

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[1] Proverb 20:27

[2] Mshkan HaNefesh, Yom Kippur, p.572

As we quickly approach the celebration for Yom Ha’aztmaut, Israeli Independence Day, it offers us an opportunity to think about our own relationship with the state of Israel. As we learned this past summer and have continued to see as the year has progressed, there is growing anti-Semitism in the world.  We’ve seen the boycott divestment sanction (BDS) movement increase on college campuses across the country.  Rachel Beyda, a UCLA student, came to the confirmation meeting for her nomination to the judicial board only to find that she was being drilled about her Jewish affiliation.  “Given that you are a Jewish student and very active in the Jewish community,” asked one council member in a video since removed from YouTube, “how do you see yourself being able to maintain an unbiased view?”[1]In November 2014 UCLA voted for divestment from Israel.  What is more disturbing is that a study that was recently published examining anti-Semitic attitudes on college campuses around the country from before the war in Gaza this past summer, the 2013-2014 school year, found an average of 54% of Jewish students on all campuses, regardless of that campus’ past anti-Israel activism, experienced anti-Semitism.  This means that this attitude is prevalent as an undercurrent in American society.  I feel as if in the multi-cultural arena that is America, we loath to use the term anti- Semitic.  Groups will say that they are anti-Zionist or they are opposed to the state of Israel on grounds of the treatment that Palestinians experience.  Yet the BDS movement seems to conflate anti-Israel sentiment with anti-Jewish sentiment.  Israel is seen as an aggressor always and the Palestinians of victims. 

The other area of concern of course comes from the relationship between the Bibi Netanyahu and in President Obama. It is not simply that they have a personality conflict, but it appears as if they have opposing views of what is necessary to bring around conflict resolution between, not just the state of Israel and the Palestinians, but also with Iran.  In an article in the Atlantic, Jeffrey Goldberg shares excerpts of an interview he conducted last year with President Obama.  "[I]f Palestinians come to believe that the possibility of a contiguous sovereign Palestinian state is no longer within reach, then our ability to manage the international fallout is going to be limited," he said.

At which point, I asked, "Willingness, or ability?"

He responded, "Not necessarily willingness, but ability to manage international fallout is going to be limited. And that has consequences."[2]these consequences include the recognition at the United Nations of the State of Palestine.  Many Americans are confused why Israelis voted for BiBi, yet I want to remind you that only 23.5% of Israelis voted for him.  Of those who had voted for him, many felt that they needed BiBi to stand up to President Obama, who in their estimation failed to understand foreign-policy specifically regarding the Middle East.  On the CCAR Facebook page and other places it is evident that many leaders in the Jewish world have increased anxiety about the outcome of the Israeli election.  Will Israel become more isolated? Will United Nations continue to further support the Palestinian cause? Will there be more anti-Semitism both in Europe and an American college campuses? Will the United States strike a deal with Iran and will that deal entail increased risk to the safety of the state of Israel.

Regardless of how you feel about Israel, recognizing that some of their policies like any other government’s policies we will love just as much we will struggle with other policies. I believe it is time for us to reengage with Israel.  It is time for us to pay more attention and develop a stronger awareness regarding all of the issues and the players.  On Friday April 24, we will have a potluck followed by a discussion regarding Israel.  Richard Friedman from the Birmingham Jewish Federation will come and lead that discussion.  I encourage you to come and get engaged. 

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[1] http://tabletmag.com/scroll/189527/controversy-over-ucla-student-council-conduct

[2] http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/03/israels-and-netanyahus-dangerous-predicament/388315/?utm_source=btn-facebook-ctrl1

Erev Rosh Hashanah 2012

I will never forget when I first came to the Temple for a service in May, it was just before I was supposed to start.  Rabbi Ballon and I were going to co-lead the service, IMS pilgrimage was going to be there along with other guests.  There was a full sanctuary.  I was prepared - I had done my service outline, reviewed it with Rabbi Ballon, I had checked all major commentary on that weeks parshah and even had practiced various liturgical melodies.  I was going to have a great shabbat service!

            Then the surprise came - "Rabbis,"     Frank Broyals asked, "can you please answer some questions about Judaism?" 

"Sure" I responded, after all I had just graduated from HUC, was just ordained, I knew all there was to know about Judaism.

            "Is there still pilgrimage in Judaism?  How do you do pilgrimage?"

I stood there, taking a deep breath...oh my goodness...pilgrimage...what?  I knew about the shelosh regalim, but did not know about pilgrimage per se.  I didn't even understand what she was asking me.  Then Rabbi Ballon answered and said we have the festivals, people make a sacred journey to Jerusalem.  But after the destruction Jews didn't really have pilgrimage in the sense that she was asking. 

            I felt embarrassed that I didn't know the answer, and promptly forgot about the whole concept until this past year. Then I realized that neither of us truly answered her question.  She was asking about how do we find the holy…that after all is what pilgrimage is about. 
            This year I started to think about pilgrimage again after several conversations with Christian clergy.  I have started to realize how natural it is, almost instinctual. We have an instinctual pull to find the holy.   

I would like us to contemplate on the holy. 

            Please take a deep breath.  Have you ever heard of the monarch butterfly migration. The length of the trip exceeds the lifespan for each butterfly - who live on average two months.  These butterflies deposit eggs on their trip up north from Mexicoin the spring and return south in August.  These butterflies angle themselves according to Earth's magnetic field and the angle of the sun.        

            While animals may migrate for a variety of reasons - including procreation, finding resources to eat and as a result of natural selection – humans move around also insearch of various things – food, safty, and searching for the holy. 

Can you think of another type of  pilgrimage?  One who travels from their home, to a new place receive energies and go back to where they started?  What about Abraham?  Can you think of anything closer to home?

What about the heart.  Put your hand on your heart.  Feel it beating.  Imagine the blood that is in your veins going to your heart to get oxygen and being pumped out through your arteries into your extremities - into the hand that is over your heart.  It naturally went from its place of origin to get energy only to go out again.

Yet when we think about our hearts, we need to start to think about how the blood is flowing around our arteries, is it free flowing or is it having to take a rough ride over the patches of cholesterol which is starting to clog our body.  Think also of the narrow arteries, which can’t necessary allow for blood to flow.  It makes taking this pilgrimage very hard. 

I want us to think of the holiday that happens immediately after Yom Kippur, just five days later is Sukkot.  When the Temple still stood in Jerusalem, this was the most important holiday.  It was the holiday when thousands of people would jam their way into Jerusalem.  Stalls would be built, accommodations were put together simply to house and feed everyone.  It was so popular, that King Herod expanded the Temple promenade simply to allow for more visitors.  It was a great pilgrimage. Once the Temple was destroyed, the journey to Jerusalem for pilgrimage stopped as well.

            Imagine making this journey from Greece, carrying all of your needs with you, money to buy an animal for a sacrifice and other necessities as well as carrying an extra 20 pounds around your waste.  Imagine how hard your heart would have to work to give energy to all the parts of your body.

            Today we live in a period of obesity.  Different periods of history were marked by various plagues on humanity and ours today is obesity.  When I say obesity I do not simply mean around your waste line.  I mean in every way. 

            We our obese physically, socially and economically. 

           

Our physical obesity is intense.  Over 2/3rds of all Americans today are obese.  As if that is not startling enough, I believe that our economic obesity is even more problematic than our physical issues.

            Economic consumption in this country is at the vary heart of how we respond to crisis, it is what we do for a past time, it is how we live our lives.  After 9/11, then president George Bush said that for us to jump start the economy we needed to go shopping.  We needed to spend money.  When the economic downturn occurred, Saks famously  ran an advertisement campaign “WANT IT!” These posters screaming “WANT IT” were all over the store, on shopping bags, at the cash register.  It was appealing to the greed that exists inside of us.  If our car is too small, replace it.  If our refrigerator door does not work, lets simply replace the entire unit.  What about “keeping up with Jones’s?” you might ask.  While I would respond that today it is “keeping up with the Kardashians”

            Shopping has become our nations favorite pastime.  Simply think of the holiday rush, when people wait in lines and rush into a store, pushing others out of their way to get a new flat screen HDTV with internet capabilities and getting rid of the TV that still works because it is not the latest model. 

            Following World War II, when consumerism began, it was a way for families who had pulled themselves up out of the depression by working in factories to support the war effort to purchase items needed to create a house.  The concept of “More, Newer Better,” really came to be praised.  Yet research has consistently demonstrated that money does not buy happiness.  Materialism does not buy happiness.  Even the term “consumer,” creates a sense of anxiety in people.  People who place a high value on wealth, status and material items tend to be more depressed and less sociable than those who do not have those values. 

“We found that irrespective of personality, in situations that activate a consumer mindset, people show the same sorts of problematic patterns in wellbeing, including negative affect and social disengagement,” says Northwestern University psychologist Galen V. Bodenhausen.[1]

This is a problem that goes beyond the personal, and now enters into the communal. 

We have essentially built an entire society whose entire value is that we can never ever ever have enough.  We always need to buy things, we always need newthings.  We do not take the time to feel grateful or acknowledge what we have.  We are so anxious about our appearance, the labels on our garments, how to we look to our others.  We have failed to see and think about the type of person we want to be.  We have forgotten to be grateful for what we have and what we are able to grow. 

Social obesity…how does this manifest itself?  We assume the challenge of society, our workplace, family or congregation are not because we created them.  We can easy look to blame someone else for the problem existing.  All I need to do is turn on the news and look at our politicians blaming someone else for causing the problem.  We have gotten so good at manipulating statistics and exaggerating facts to blow up problems that we have failed to address the root cause of the problem.  I can think about the debate last summer over our debt and credit rating or simply look at Congress to see how badly broken and socially obese we are.  We do not believe it is our responsibility to solve the problem.  We leave the heavy lifting to someone else, a few brave souls willing to make a sacrifice to step out. 

In 2007, the entire world entered the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression.  It began with the bursting of the American housing bubbled, followed by the collapse of Lehman Brothers.  We have started to scape goat rich bankers and their crazy bonuses, to hedge-fund mangers to self-centered executives.  What about our responsibility in this?  Most of us rain up far greater debt than we were capable of carrying.  What about the idea of collective responsibility?  We have created these challenges, now we have to solve them. 

On Yom Kippur we read about the scapegoat, whose received the sins of the community.  The ancient Israelites believed that sins were something physical and needed to be removed from the community. Today instead, we blame persons or groups of people scapegoating them.  Instead we need to acknowledge that within us is both the yetzer hara and the yetzer hatov – the inclination to do evil and the inclination to do good.  By recognizing our own limitations, perhaps we will less likely we able to project them onto others. 

Let me bring it closer to home, than simply talking about the economy.  Please take a tour our Temple, if you did, what will you find?  You will find items piled up from last year’s Purim carnival that were not returned to the basement, boxes from the Hanukah sale, old siddurim, and old papers among other things.  Our cluttered building, with the tired looking social hall is only a mirror of our society.  It is simply a glimpse into the life patterns we struggle with in all aspects of our lives.  We can blame one person for specific problems, but it was all of us who contributed. 

            All of this clutter, all of this material stuff is weighing us down.

I would like to share a story with you.  One of my friends was on a pilgrimage walking.  He was traversing around 550 miles on foot to the holy site.  The longer he goes on the path, the clearer he is able to think and see the world around him.  While on the path, his knees and ankles begin to hurt him.  He slowly starts to remove items from his pack that he is carrying as he realizes that the extra weight is not only slowing him down, but it is physically hurting him and making his quest to find the sacred all that more challenging.  He is making a choice to become leaner, which ultimately allows him to find God, purified and focused. 

As Jews we know the ten commandments, we value them.  We recite them liturgically three times a year.  But do we follow them?  What about the second commandment:

Second Commandment (Exodus 20:3-6): You shall have no other gods beside Me. You shall not make for yourself any graven image, nor any manner of likeness, of any thing that is heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them, nor serve them, for I, the Lord Your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.

By placing a value on material items we are putting them before God.  We are making graven images, these graven images are the desire that we have to achieve wealth, status and to have the best.  It is our believe that we are better than someone else and therefore act recklessly. We don’t need to clean up, someone else will take care of it for us.  It is how much extra weight we have by valuing food so much, by being unable to delay gratification, that we are literally clogging ourselves up with cholesterol. 

Let’s  try to come back to who we really are.  Let’s try and find a way back to ourselves, and ultimately to God by asking what is it that we value.  What kind of choices are we making?  Can we make leaner choices?  Can we make a better choice?

As we journey together to find the holy in our lives, let us start by lightening the load that we are carrying.  The simple act of coming here for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is a pilgrimage.  You have come here tonight to find the holy.  While you are here, let’s start to think about the behaviors that we do which add to our burden, be aware of it and then slowly modify.  As we shift ourselves physically, socially and economically we will also shift ourselves spiritually. 

May we be able to find God, to feel God’s presence and to make decisions which lead to a healthier, happier, community.

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[1] The study, conducted with colleagues Monika A. Bauer, James E. B. Wilkie, and Jung K. Kim, appears in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science.

Cheshbon Nefesh – Accounting of the Soul

I was standing in front of my closet for the ever challenging task of picking out the best outfit for the day.  As I stood there, I realized that there were garments, which in spite of the move have not seen day light since I was married.  This made me start to think about all the items in my life that I have not thought about for an equally long period of time.  I contemplated all the changes of circumstances in my life – from being a student, an intern and newly married to being a rabbi. I contemplated how my relationships with my friends and family have evolved along with my change in circumstances.  Lastly I started to contemplate how I have evolved and in that process and I began to wonder.  I wondered if I have done or said anything to anyone from my closest friends and family to those I have not spoke to in the past several months which I could have done better. Was I carrying extra clothes on my back because I did not bring to light inside of myself how I behaved toward them?  Did I need to pick up the phone, send an email or text and bring them forward from the closet in my life?  It is that time of year when the answer is yes.  I need to spend sometime contemplating the last conversation I had with them, request forgiveness if I did anything in the past year that offended them and forgive myself.  As we read in Perkei Avoth, “The day is short, the work is great, the workers are lazy, the payment is much, and the Boss is pressing." It is a daunting task, to check in with everyone, apologize and work on cleaning out the closet that is our life.  But perhaps we can walk lighter, carry less weight on our backs as we head into the New Year with a fresh start and an uplifting outlook.

Elul

Shalom,
We are entering the month of Elul when we prepare ourselves for the High Holidays. One of the first ways that we prepare ourselves is that we begin the process of requesting slichot or forgiveness from those around us. Our legal codes teach us that forgiveness stems from repentance. Repentance indicates acknowledging how we contributed to the situation whether it was a fight, a disruption or painful interaction on a personal and community level. We need to understand and ask the question “Did I contribute to the problem? Was I unfair in anything that I said or did? Did I speak unfairly about or to another person such as spreading rumors or critique someone in a tactless or demoralizing manor?” Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev would nightly journal to review his action and analyze his role to determine the answers to the above questions
To have this level of self awareness is extremely hard. Yet it is necessary in order to fully repent and also forgive. Perhaps we believe that it is possible to wait in order to repent. Yet Rabbi Eliezer said, ‘Repent one day before your death.’” Which several thought meant we had to repent only once in our lives. But Rabbi Eliezer’s students quickly realized a fact and asked a question“…[does a person] know on what day he [or she] is going to die?” Therefore, his students continued to say “All the more reason, to repent today, lest one die tomorrow. In this manner, one’s whole life will be spent in repentance.”[1]
The rabbis set the bar high for us. The goal is to be self aware, willing to take ownership and lastly willing to repent. Yet repenting is not a one-sided event, ideally there would be a willingness of forgiveness from the other party. Though sometimes, human nature being what it is, we do need our space, and often some time to analyze ourselves and our contribution to the situation. Also perhaps we recognize that we do not want our tempers to boil over and further hurt others around us. Instead, we learn from Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar, who used to say: Do not try to appease your fellow at the height of his anger, nor speak to him words of consolation while his dead lies before him…”[2] Meaning sometimes that in order to forgive patience from both parties is necessary until they are ready to work toward forgiveness and reconciliation. Silence is golden so that we can create a peaceful environment.
As Rambam teaches us though, the ultimate goal is forgiveness and repentance. "It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow yourself to be appeased. On the contrary, one should be easily pacified and find it difficult to become angry. When asked by an offender for forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit. . . forgiveness is natural to the seed of Israel."[3] So even if you may not be able to forgive and repent today, please try and do so tomorrow since as Rabbi Eliezer teaches we may not know when our last chance to forgive and repent arrives.
During this season, when we prepare ourselves for the high holidays, may we be able to put aside our hurt feelings, let go of our grudges and recognize how we contributed to the situation in order to forgive each other. May we have the strength and courage to forgive even the oldest of wrongs to ultimately work toward a stronger sense of community.


[1] Babylonian Talmud, Shabbat 153a
[2] Ethics of the Fathers 4:23
[3] Mishneh Torah Teshuvah 2:10

Community Togetherness

The value of shalom bayit – or family harmony is an important value in the Jewish community. Professor Reuven Kimelman teaches that this value is achieved when we adhere to the commandment “Love your neighbor as yourself.” It is not enough to say “I love you” or “I respect you,” to one another. Only when the other partner (or community member) feels that way, have we truly fulfilled the mitzvah. May we live and act in such a way that we can all feel the bonds of community through love and respect. It is through working together that we can achieve great things.